Coffee!
by LostProcess
Summary: This is a crack-fic one-shot lemon. I know, it is crazy. SasuNaru.


This is for coldheartedandquiet because she reviewed on 'Thank You'.

Here we go, my first lemon!

Oh yeah, It's amazing...the fact that I don't own Naruto.

Enjoy the crackon!!(It's so typical of me that my first lemon is a crackfic.)

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Sip. The warm liquid drew squiggly lines down his face. He lapped up some more, and then set the coffee mug down. The mug made a small ring as it was placed upon the ceramic table. Huh. Naruto picked the mug back up, and then slammed it a bit more forcefully on the table. The sound of a door bell ringing filled his ears. He did it again, and he got a clock chiming midnight. Huh. The mug must be magical.

Suddenly, the real doorbell rang.

"Yeah?" rang out Naruto's voice.

" It's me Sasuke. I brought the bagels you wanted." Huh. Since when did Sasuke sing everything that he said?

"Alright!" Naruto yelled, "the door is unlocked."

The sound of an Ethiopian opera started to play when Sasuke opened the door and walked through. He had a large bag in his left arm- and it was filled to the brim with three-cheese bagels. Sasuke set the bag down on the counter that lay not too far from the door, then turned to look at Naruto. He was naked except for his boxers, which hung loosely on him from their stretching the night before.

Naruto was staring at his coffee mug, enraptured with something about the glass object. A few bit of the rogue liquid still dripped from his chin, so Sasuke walked to Naruto, and, pulling his face toward him, licked off the wet remnants. Naruto's eyes fluttered to Sasuke's tongue, and he stood up, not being able to bear hearing the song 'Destati' play over and over.

"Wanna take this to the bed?" he asked, not caring if he was being blunt. Sasuke once again looked at the loose boxers, and snagged them with his fingers.

"If only you, want me to, I'd do any, thing for you." Singing was one thing for Sasuke, rhyming was another. Naruto thought he must be going crazy. They reached the bed(situated three feet from the table), and Sasuke pushed Naruto down into the plush sheets, not aware of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony playing in the background. He kissed Naruto lightly, taking Naruto's full lips with his own.

Naruto, moaned, which turned into the sound of raindrops on a cold evening.

Sasuke pulled off the boxers. Naruto's already hardened erection greeted him, and Sasuke lowered his face down to suck on that seven inch wonder. With each suck, Sasuke could hear Naruto's heartbeat pulsing wildly in his chest. Naruto arched his back, and cried out as Sasuke deep throated him, biting the flesh just above his groin. He could feel his pubic hairs being twisted into tiny spirals as Sasuke wove his fingers into them, occasionally pulling to add pain to Naruto's pleasure.

" Sasuke, I'm going to cum on you." No, he wasn't very romantic at all. Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave Naruto one last suck, half dragging the cum out of him. He heard an angelic sigh as Naruto came, he watched as Naruto's hands curled up, making eager fists. Sasuke knew what those fists meant.

"Hey Naruto." he whispered.

"What?" Naruto was able to say after a while.

"I didn't just buy bagels." Sasuke got up and walked the five feet to the counter, his feet making the sound of birds chirping as he walked. He reached into the bag, and pulled out an unopened canister of whipped cream. Opening it while he walked back to the bed, he sprayed some onto his fingers.

"Oh, Sasuke, I LOVE whipped cream!" It seemed like he was finally fully awake.

"I know." he thrust his fingers into Naruto; "so do I." he finished his sentence as he bent down and eagerly began to lap up the cream that didn't follow his fingers inside of Naruto. He scraped his tongue against Naruto's hole, then added it to the fingers already there. Naruto cried out at this sudden intrusion, but then relaxed as he stretched to meet it.

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Sasuke was proud of himself. After four hours of foreplay, he finally had everything ready.

Naruto lay panting on the bed, covered from head to toe in whipped cream. He had been lathered in all the right places, and mistreated in them too. Bite marks covered his body—also from head to toe. He was panting slightly, and the rain had stopped.

Sasuke couldn't take just "observing" any longer. He grabbed Naruto's legs and, pushing them up, thrust himself deep him. The whipped cream made a soft slurping noise as he entered; a noise that intensified as he pushed himself in at a breakneck pace. It didn't take long for him to cum, and when he did, he could feel Naruto's body swallow it whole.

"It's afternoon now." Naruto observed.

Sasuke sighed. " That doesn't mean we can't sleep in."

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So. My first lemon...and crackfic. What did you think? I thought it simply orgasmic. Yes, coldheartedandquiet, that was for you.


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